Blessing of Brokenness

The Blessing of Brokenness By Victor Tarassov I would like to explore the concept of being broken to recover and obtain and maintain sobriety of any type or addiceion. Many people think they must maintain an image to be acceptable and never allow themselves to been seen as less than perfect. For the addict (any type) there has to be the facade that everything is ok or fine. But a simple look inside the heart reveals something quite different. Most of us are afraid to look there because there are so many wounds and truth be told we are broken. So we use our addictions to keep us from seeing or being in touch with our brokenness. **************************************** The Psalmist in Psalm 52:17 says: “the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” NIV **************************************** On the other hand what if we are posing that we are all just fine? Yet I do not think that that front will allow us to benefit in our desire to stay sober. There is a story that I think explains brokenness very well. There was a young priest who was about to lift the communion cup up and bless the cup. The cup was made of choice crystal and very perfect. Just when he lifted up the cup it slipped out of his hand and smashed on to the floor all broken pieces all over. He looked up at the senior priest thinking that he would be ridiculed and instead the senior priest said, “I never new there were so many beautiful pieces to reflect the light until the cup was broken. How marvelous and beautiful are all the pieces when the light shines on them!” It is the light that shines though our brokenness that is so beautiful. For that light is the Lord. What we fear is to be broken or be seen as broken but as the story illustrates it is in our brokenness and non-posing state that the true light of Christ can shine in and make our brokenness beautiful. The addict has to see her/his brokenness if they are to over- come one of the major obstacles in recovery. **************************************** George MacDonald says: ”Gather my broken fragments to a whole… Let mine be a merry, all-receiving heart, but make it a whole, with light in every part” **************************************** John Eldredge in Wild at Heart comments, “But you can’t do this at a distance; you can’t ask Christ to come into your wound while you remain far from it. You have to go there with him.” That being we are in pain and are broken. Its ok to be broken, it is in our brokenness that we can bring it to the Lord and have His touch and light heal and bring hope to our broken heart. I have resisted for years to allow my self to experience the pain of brokenness but this last year I experienced many things that suggested I was not in control of my life and that the world I lived in was broken including me. As long as I tried to hold on and make it work I would get depressed, tired, a bit moody and self absorbed in that I did not want people to see me in pain. Finally in May of 2002 my cup was smashed on the ground, I never thought that with so many pieces all over the place that order or hope would come. But yet to my surprise it was this brokenness that I believe God needed me and many of us to enter to show us how much He really loves us. After a very painful divorce, relocation, and new beginnings in a new place God used his church to show me love when I had nothing I could give. This was the place I believe that God wants to take all of us to show us just how much He loves us. It came down to me and my God. I have had friends support me and give me space to heal and grow. Then I received encouragement from pastors/minister and allowed my life to be touched by others. Then my own practice began to pick up, and finally after time, God even allowed me to meet the most beautiful woman I have ever met, Kathy, to spend time with. It has been a joy to be in relationship not afraid of the past, able to give love to her from a place of strength and not need. I have love that I can share with her and others because my brokenness allowed for God to fill me with Him. She and others have seen me for who I am and not what the wounds showed. My brokenness has allowed me to be made whole and beginning the healing, not by me, but the Lord. The very thing that I thought would destroy me and break me God has used to bless me. This is truly the best time I have been experiencing in my life. Even though there was a period of six months of deep pain, God has taken me and allowed me to experience brokenness and lose everything that I thought would give me peace and replace that with Him. Now He is even giving me the desires of my heart. He will to you too. May we not see our brokenness as a road block to healing and wholeness but as a door to enter to begin that wonderful journey where we experience the love that God has for all of us. May we allow him to heal our hearts. Heal and reflect His love. This article is by Victor Tarassov